selfish

two things in the course of life are natural: laziness and selfishness. i live my day to day in a constant cycle of self-conflicts, with the angel on my right shoulder expecting more from me, demanding only the best after having granted me the wisdom to make the right choices in often complicated situations. not so far away stands another figure, feisty with a red miniskirt and pitchfork, providing me with a multitude of wonderful rebuttals and contradictions to her sweet counterpart. in the end, who wins out? and if to be lazy and selfish are natural, then are our wrongdoings forgivable?

laziness is pretty boring. let's not talk about it. if you want it done, do it yourself. done and done.

but selfishness... that's a whole 'nother ballgame - not all bad, but arguably more bad than good. i am a strong proponent of independent thinking, of following dreams, listening to your heart, and all that jazz. may god bless the trailblazer who creates his own path and dismisses nonbelievers, not out of spite, but out of determination to do what is best for him. oftentimes, however, people lose sight of any good intention and hurt others in the process of their own individual progression. how often do we compare our lives to one another? how often do we look at our friends, cursing them for their successes, and wishing that their fortunes fell on us instead? how often, and how much more often, have we made mistakes, tiny or immense, because our desire overcame our conscience? ... and then how many times have we made the vow to never make the same mistake again, only to disappoint ourselves days, weeks, even years later?

the excuse, "i'm only human" can only be used so often. yes, you are human (congrats, btw, on that profound discovery), but no, that is not an acceptable form of allowance to do as you wish without suffering the consequences. too often, people forget the general rule of life (it's easy as this: if you do something stupid, don't do it again.) and subject themselves to the simple evils of self-centered volition.

i'd like to write about personal experiences, but i feel that this would be a terrible ground for such... instead, i choose to write about other people. (for purely selfish reasons, ironically) YIPPEE! i have decided three will suffice for tonight.

the CPT offender

- never arrives on time

- thinks the world revolves around her/him

- sometimes not trustworthy because his CPT (color-peopled time) habit has evolved into a general tendency to slack off

the emotional drainer

- usually a charmer

- uses and abuses

- does not understand the emotional consequences he/she leaves with said used and abused

the "everything is about me" syndrome

- "oh, you have a new laptop? well, my daddy has a yacht"

- handed everything on a silver platter, but still able to complain about something almost always. ever.

- designer wear (pretty facade, ugly interior)

i may or may not have specific people in mind... but i'd like to give some advice. here it is: STOP.

stop being crazy. stop pretending that it is acceptable to treat other people like dirt. stop believing that it is okay to ramble about your own life to anyone with an ear but never ask about the person whom you've chosen as your victim. stop thinking that your friends will always be there, because chances are, given the right amount of abuse, maybe they eventually won't. stop opening up healed wounds time and time again. stop with the dramatics... please stop.

i prefaced my rant with the nature of selfishness for a reason; i know egocentrism is ingrained in our psyche. we, as humans, were not made to be perfect. we are all driven to protect ourselves and have a tendency to wonder "why not me?" if the situation calls for it or vice versa. ultimately, however, our actions define our personalities. a simple consideration for others' feelings can go a long way. no one wants to be anybody's welcome mat, and if you truly care about someone, it should also be very natural to take into account their feelings, to want for a friend to be happy. forgiveness can only be tested so often, but what should happen when the fuse finally runs its course?

penny for your thoughts...