There are just some things that need not be tolerated, and I've happily (and begrudgingly- sometimes the memories are pitifully painful) compiled a list. Enjoy.
Rule #1: When a girl gives you her number, NEVER (caps lock necessary) call within 12 hours of her giving you the 10 magic digits to her heart, or rather, her voicemail. I mean, what? How does a man justify this type of behavior? Especially after a night that ended in the wee hours of the morning, I find it truthfully shocking that some men deem it necessary to call the next day while two good friends are happily enjoying LUNCH, wondering where our manners went, and laughing profusely about last night's debaucheries. So you got a number... and? Please do not believe, in any sense of the action, that numbers are given out selectively. Truth be told, sometimes a girl likes to flirt maniacally to see how one reacts. Or maybe you did have some charm...until you disproved that lovely thought by calling 5 times before dinner. OH. And if a girl avoids the call, happily ignore last night's invite to tonight's plans... Chances are, she'll be on her way to finding someone else equally handsome, but much less desperate.
Rule #2: Do not date people in the same circle. Soooo, Mr. I-Love-Girls-From-The-Pacific-Islands... It is quite endearing that you know what you like. Simply put, you've got great taste. However, when the main reason that you know all of these lovely ladies is because you were trying to date a specific someone in the first place, perhaps the best thing to do is stick to that specific someone. Extra points if you manage to get a date with all of your prospectives! But when you finally figure out which one is least harmful to your macho repertoire, chances are, she will no longer be interested. Two things are certain: 1. News travels fast and 2. Girls talk. The sum of these parts equals a very large "Loser" sticker reserved for your forehead. It would be even better if you did not show up uninvited to places which you could easily avoid. I would have enjoyed dancing with Mr. Man until your lovely best friend showed up whispering the two words I could have lived without. ("He's here.") Owning up to the situation could help your cause, but as it stands, I guess "we're friends, but not really." Easily the most profound words that have blessed these ears... And yet you wonder why I don't call...?
Rule #3: After a very long and difficult day/week in a young professional's life, an easily accessible and fun outlet is the much anticipated night of alcohol, food, and debauchery. I do not support alcoholism, nor do I feel that abusing one's liver is absolutely necessary to enjoy a night in the city... but hey, it doesn't hurt. Consequentially, a few drinks inevitably lead to one thing: bad decisions. Whether she is dancing on bars, throwing back that last shot of tequila that determined her post-chugging walking ability, flirting with her ex-boyfriend's best friend, or sending text messages to said ex, a bad decision is almost always involved in the wee hours just before daybreak. Unfortunately, boys, a bad decision is just that - a bad decision. Some women are generally bubbly in personality and have magnetic personalities that could easily be misconceived for flirtatious. Granted, the woman is definitely at fault, but you, the man, are more guilty for believing that she may actually be interested! A real woman will 'fess up to her mistakes and apologize for said "flirtatiousness," at which point, the conversation should be cut, not made unclear by completely ignoring the situation. It is a blurry line between love and hate, especially with beer goggles, and awkward demeanor during the next point of contact, is most definitely not helping the situation. At this point, you just become the guy who can't handle an aggressive woman. Lame.
Rule #4: Don't break up with someone you "love" over the phone. Seriously?
1 comment:
i guess we are the same person.
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